I guess since we have mentioned it to the family I can tell y'all. We want a new a home. But we do not want to move. We want to stay in our quiet little corner in the country. Originally, we thought to build an addition. Then we end up with an awkward layout (which would drive me insane), more square footage than we need, and still have a very poor foundation. And part of me would be sad to see our gorgeous barns slowly fall apart while the house got bigger.
I love the character of our tiny farmhouse, but I hate the frosty winter chill the kitchen and upstairs take on during the winter. Despite enormous amounts of insulation and straw bales around the foundation. Ultimately the worst thing about the house is the foundation...and that the laundry area is in the basement. Three of the four seasons I can handle that both the kid's rooms are not even a 10' x 10'. And one day soon the tiny stairs going to our room from the bathroom are going to cause issues when the kids reach teenage-hood.
We came to a point this last fall that maybe our best bet was to demolish the house and put a new one in its place. Living in a camper on the farm while we build. In some ways, it breaks my heart thinking about demolishing the original farmhouse after we (extended family too) have put so much money and time into it. But I felt in a weird way we were going to do a new house for ourselves.
The idea of building new came to a crashing halt when we found out to build a standard grade home with little customization would be $150 a square foot. We are talking carpet people...shudder. I hate carpet. The first thing I think of with carpet is having to clean up kid vomit and dog accidents. Yuck. I am going to be honest, I got real LOW. And some people, read hubby, starting getting upset at me for not being grateful. I am grateful. Our farmhouse keeps us safe and dry. And with the woodstove, we stay warm. And it is extremely affordable...but it is small and hard. And sometimes when we have storms I would be more grateful if it had a SAFE basement.
I feel like I am coming full circle. When we (pre-wedding) started looking at farmhouses, we came across a place with a gorgeous barn. A barn made for converting to a home. But the hubby, in his lack of construction skills days, could not see it. Fortunately, we landed on our secluded little farm with some of the best neighbors you could ask for. A place where my grandfather on multiple occasions said if he were 25 years younger he would pick up and start over. This is coming from a man who was living on his father's farm and was always about family.
When we first moved in, in the back of my head was the thought that big, old, beautiful, bank barn would make a really nice house. But soon babies, emergency hospital trips, and other life blurred that thought into the recesses of my brain. Then about 5 years ago hubby made the comment (now really handy in the construction area) that the barn would make a pretty awesome home. I seriously wanted to throw the hammer in my hand at him. I didn't.
Well in the last week my bummed out brain got it in her head that maybe God has a plan for us to build a new home here. Maybe it is not where and what I thought. And maybe, just maybe, it is out of the barn. A girl can hope.